There is a song by Gwen Stefani called "Simple kind of Life". The song includes the lyrics "I always thought I'd be a mom,sometimes I'd wish for a mistake".Obviously she wrote the song during a bad break up and didn't realize that she in fact would become a mom with someone else one day.I used to listen to that song and really feel all of the lyrics in it,but I know deep down that for the last 7 years I have been a mom.Kylee is my chance and my choice.Without going through the whole "Oh,my Gosh,Really"? story of how she became my step-daughter I will tell you this much.Her existence was a surprise to my then-fiance' and me.After an incredibly stressful and wretched legal process it was
determined that she was in fact his child.Conceived before we met and not known about until after we were engaged. You can imagine the emotional ups and downs of everyone involved.When I say she was my "choice" I only mean that Jake was almost more devastated for me (for our relationship) than fearing the prospect of becoming an "insta-dad".He wrote letters to me daily about his love.Despite the depth he did not want to cause me emotional pain.He knew the roller coaster of my past and my rule of "I will NOT date anyone with kids again". I was 26,those were rules I could make then. I'd been down that road and there was NO WAY I was ever going to deal with the mother of the child of any man I dated again.EVER.(note to divorced people: Your ex will be in a relationship with someone else eventually so be an adult and NEVER use your kids as weapons..you're horrible for doing that,horrible.) I knew Jake came into my life for a reason so regardless of the outcome,I was in it for the duration.
We met Kylee shortly after her first birthday and I was immediately in love with her,still am.Thankfully her mom has allowed me to share in every nuance of her life.A freedom I can assure you that most step-mothers do not ever experience.After what amounts to a mountain of false starts/hopes/ I know that I'm probably not ever going to have a child born underneath my heart.Instead fate placed one right smack dab in the middle of it.I love you Kylee,you're the best gift I have ever received.
Pictured: My Mother's Day Card (Kylee's teachers have always let her make 2 !)
Kylee girl & I at Pismo in April (photo by Dustin Legan)
Kylee holding the above card open and a picture she drew for me.
Kylee holding the above card open and a picture she drew for me.
5 comments:
Rachel,you don't know me but I remember when you first started showing up with a baby several years ago to grocery shop.Before that me and all the other guys (and girls) at the store would always see you come in,in your workout clothes and we'd all just whisper to each other that you were in the store.Nothing bad! We all just thought your body should be on a fitness magazine cover.It still is by the way.Back to the story though.We all wondered who the little baby was but no matter where we would see you,we would always see the baby with you.I haven't been in town for a while but my buddy who used to work at the store with me,emailed this to me and some of our old co-workers today and I just wanted to say from all of us that we have the most admiration for you and we got to see the love you have for this baby (who as far as I can tell is a little girl now,I snooped thorough some of your pictures on here).It's cool to know some of the story to what was a mystery to us so long ago.What a shock to become an insta-parent as you wrote.It makes me wonder if I have any kids out there and if I did,would my girlfriend be as cool with it? I was a teenager when I used to see you.Young,dumb and full of ...well you probably know the saying.But I'm 28 now and know better.Just wanted to tell you that,you are someone to be admired.Have a good Mothers Day.
Jason Bradford king of the Paper or Plastic Posse.(had to throw that in their for my boys Tyler,Chase and Marky D)Whassup!
Ms.Legan
Any child who has you in their life is nothing less but chosen.You don't know the impact you have made on me.Truth be told you probably don't even remember me but one time about 12 years ago, I worked with you and youhad so much guts that I just tried to emulate you.I worked in promotions then.I'm 30 now and a nurse.You said that I could do anything.I believed you and now I am the thing I wanted to be.You are my "aha" moment. A sudden angel and a guiding light.I will email you the rest of the details but I want Bakersfield to know that you are a SPECIAL SOUL!! A.Plott (the email will tell you my identity then).Rachel you are beautiful inside and out.I hope the world has been kinder to you.
Kylee is such a cute girl. My kids loved playing with her practically everyday. We miss her, let her know my kids say hi!
Thanks Lisa, I sure will. She loved you and your kids (and your goodies).The thing I would most often hear about playing at your house was: "I had a snack next door"...lol. I will tell her mom what a fun little neighbor she was.Take care:) Rach
Rachel, I am glad for you, that is something that has eluded me.
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