******(Jake and I on our wedding day in Hawaii 2002)*******Bet you didn't know that more than anything else it was probably bona fide chemistry that brought you and your spouse together.Really.Maybe you've taken this test before because it's been everywhere...Oprah,20/20,news magazines etc.Nonetheless in the spirit of it being the "month of love" I thought you'd get a kick out of taking it with your spouse and learning a little more about one another and why your relationship is so good..(it is good right? lol) If not,this test may also have some clues as to what could be wrong.Enjoy!
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Before deciding what your "relationship type" is by reading the synopsis of the four personalities below,take this quiz.You'll want to get a piece of paper handy and write the numbers 1 through 16 (that's what we did anyway)!A doctor named Helen Fisher designed these questions as a way to figure out what your chemical make-up has to do with the partner you choose.You may be surprised by the answers! Take the Quiz (you will neeed a piece of paper to write your answers down on.I shortened them to SD= Strongly Disagree,D= Disagree and so forth)
1.I find unpredictable situations exhilarating. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
2.I do things on the spur of the moment. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
3.I am always coming up with new ideas. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
4.I have a very wide range of interests. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
5.I make plans for things that will happen way down the road. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
6.I place a high degree of importance on how other people view me. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
7.In general, I think it is important to follow the rules. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
8.I tend to be cautious, but not fearful. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
9.I can see many different ways to solve a particular problem. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
10.I am more intuitive than most people. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
11.I change my mind easily. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
12.I get uncomfortable when I see someone standing alone at a party. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
13.I am very focused. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
14.I think it is more important to do a good job than to have people like me. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
15.It takes a lot of evidence to make me change my mind on most issues. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
16.I like to cut through the uncertainties to get to the point. __Strongly Disagree __Disagree __Agree __Strongly Agree
To Score:
Strongly Disagree = 1 (point)
Disagree = 2
Agree = 3
Strongly Agree = 4
Add up the number of points in each of the four sections: 1-4; 5-8; 9-12; 13-16.
Questions 1-4 measure the degree to which you are an EXPLORER.
Questions 5-8 measure the degree to which you are a BUILDER.
Questions 9-12 measure the degree to which you are a NEGOTIATOR.
Questions 13-16 measure the degree to which you are a DIRECTOR.
The two highest numbers are your primary and secondary types. ___________________________________________________________
We're each a mix of all four of Helen Fisher's relationship categories, but we express some traits more regularly than others. For example, you might primarily be an Explorer and secondarily a Negotiator, but then not have much Builder in you. As you read on, you'll probably guess both your primary and secondary types, as well as those of your mate. ___________________________________________________________
The Negotiator:
Negotiators have specific personality traits that have been linked with estrogen. Although estrogen is known as a female sex hormone, men have it, too, and there are plenty of male Negotiators. As the name suggests, this type is superb at handling people. Negotiators instinctively know what others are thinking and feeling. They artfully read facial expressions, postures, gestures, and tone of voice. Their interest in identity extends not only to others but to themselves. So they are introspective and self-analytical-- men and women who take pleasure in journeying into their thoughts and motives. As a result, when they form a partnership, they like to delve deeply into the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship. Not only do Negotiators connect psychologically, they also have the ability to remain mentally flexible. When they make decisions, they weigh many variables and consider various ways to proceed; they see things contextually, rather than linearly -- I call it web thinking. As a result, they tend to be comfortable with ambiguity. Negotiators can be highly intuitive and creative. And they like to theorize. Perhaps their most distinctive characteristic is verbal fluency, the facility for finding the right words rapidly. With this skill -- alongside an agreeable and accommodating nature, compassion, social savvy, and patience -- the Negotiator can be very friendly, diplomatic, and authentic. But as with all qualities, these traits can warp. Negotiators sometimes become such placators they appear wishy-washy to the point of spinelessness. Because they're not willing to confront, they can turn to backstabbing. With their need to examine all the possibilities, they can get bogged down in rumination as opposed to action. And in a relationship, their desire to connect and dissect all the subtle meanings between the two of you can become cloying and invasive. ___________________________________________________________
The Director
Specific activities in the testosterone system are what distinguishes this type. Again, although we think of the hormone as male, it is shared by both sexes, and there are many full-blooded women Directors. Whatever the gender, people of this type are competitive. They strive to be top dog and have many skills to get there. They are pragmatic, tough-minded, and most notably decisive, able to make up their minds rapidly, even when faced with difficult choices. Rational analysis, logical reasoning, and objectivity are their core strengths. They also pay attention to details and can focus their attention to the exclusion of everything around them -- an ability that enables them to weed out extraneous data and progress on a straightforward path toward a specific goal: the solution. Many Directors are also ingenious, theoretical, and bold in their ideas. Moreover, they are willing to take unpopular, even dangerous paths, to get to the truth. So they persist and often win. Directors are particularly skilled at understanding machines and other rule-based systems, from computers and math problems to the details of biology, world finance, or architecture. They excel at sports, and often have an acute ear for all kinds of music. Their interests can be narrow; but they pursue them deeply and thoroughly. And they can captivate those who share their hobbies. Placating leaves the Director cold. He or she often chooses to do a good job rather than please others. In fact, Directors are the least socially skilled of the four types. When preoccupied with work or personal goals, they can appear aloof, distant, even cold, and are generally not interested in making social connections, with the exception of those that are useful or exciting to them. As with the other types, the traits that make Directors so successful may become grating: For example, their confidence can veer into bragging, their exactitude turn uncompromising, and their forthrightness simply seem rude. And because they often see issues in black and white, they miss the nuances of social, business, and personal situations. But thanks to their dedication, loyalty, and interest in sharing ideas, Directors make close friends. And they can be fiercely protective of those they love. ___________________________________________________________
The Builder
Calm, affable, and people oriented, the Builder's personality is influenced by the serotonin system. Social situations are often fun and relaxing for Builders; they like to network. Because duty and loyalty are their strong suits, they often acquire a devoted pack of peers and pals. And they're true guardians when it comes to family and friends. Builders are cautious -- but not fearful. They think concretely. They have a clear memory of yesterday's mistakes, so they prepare. These people are not impulsive with their money, their actions, or their feelings. Security is important to them. Structure and order are, too. Taking particular pride in upholding social norms, many are traditional, and they often have a strong moral streak. Builders don't get bored easily, which enables them to be methodical, hardworking, and dependable. Thanks to all these solid qualities, they tend to be regarded as pillars of the community. But Builders can go overboard. In their quest to do things the "proper way," they can be intolerant of other ways. Indeed, they can be stubborn. And with their need for order, rules, and schedules, they can stifle spontaneity. Their stoicism can turn into pessimism, their conformity into rigidity, and their concrete thinking sometimes makes them too literal. Normally, however, Builders are community minded, industrious, and popular with colleagues and companions. _________________________________________________________
The Explorer
Explorers have a very active dopamine system, a brain chemical associated with the tendency to seek novelty, among other qualities. An Explorer might look up from the newspaper on Sunday and say, "Want to go to Warsaw?" -- and by Wednesday you're in Poland. Champions of "never a dull moment," these adventurers live to discover new people, places, things, or ideas, often on the spur of the moment. Friends, family, and colleagues frequently regard them as highly independent and autonomous. Explorers have more energy than most people; they tend to be restless, sometimes fast-paced. And they are highly curious -- "For always roaming with a hungry heart," as Tennyson put it. Constantly generating new ideas or creative insights, they easily shift their attention from one thing to another. Although the classic Explorer is a race-car driver, South Pole trekker, or bad-boy rocker who lives hard, taking drugs and having risky sex, I know many who exercise their passion for adventure by reading several hours a day; collecting stamps, coins, or antiques; or walking through the byways of a city. People quickly like most Explorers. Generous and sunny, they tend to be playful, sensual, sometimes hedonistic, often unpredictable, and regularly amusing. But they can be difficult to take -- especially in a marriage. They do not tolerate boredom well. So they are generally not interested in routine social or business events. In fact, Explorers try to avoid routine of almost any kind, and can trample on another person's cherished beliefs and habits --not to mention be impatient. ___________________________________________________________
So far over a million people have taken the test and Builders predominate (42 percent of the population). There are far fewer Explorers (8 percent) than any other type—a frequency that correlates with the distribution of a specific genetic variant in the dopamine system associated with novelty seeking and risk taking. Perhaps Builders were essential in ancestral times to stabilize community life, while Explorers were crucial only under changing ecological circumstances.
____Explorer's gravitate to big cities, perhaps drawn to the novelty, energy, excitement, extravagance, and risk. Builders stay home and guard the heartland. First meetings are powerful. They often set the course for the entire relationship.
-----The data so far suggest that just about everybody loves Negotiators; all types (except male Builders) gravitate to these agreeable, imaginative, verbal men and women. More important to my theory, men and women of all broad temperament types (except the Negotiator) express more initial attraction for individuals with different, rather than similar, behavioral and cognitive profiles.
----- Roots and Wings Builders, bathed in serotonin, appear to be particularly attracted to the dopamine-rich Explorers, and vice versa. Perhaps the orderly, rule-following Builder needs the spontaneity and novelty of the Explorer, especially when rearing the young. And perhaps the Explorer gravitates to the Builder because he or she provides roots, rules, and loyalty—the gravitas an Explorer desires to help rear children.
-----Directors favor Negotiators. Perhaps they need the Negotiator's social and verbal skills, broad contextual perspective, flexibility, and nurturing. And although Negotiators are foremost drawn to their own kind, they are also drawn to the Director. Perhaps the direct, competitive, focused, decisive, logical, analytical, and mechanically talented Director balances out their flexible nature, another effective combination for bearing and rearing young. ___________________________________________________________ _____
Just in case you're wondering, I ranked highest in the Builder category with a score of 13 my secondary trait was a tie with Negotiator and Director both coming in at a 12.My hubby is also a Builder.Obviously this means we will live happily ever after:) LOL
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